Solitude

I, Shields, am reading Henri J.M. Nouwen because of a recommendation of one of the presenters at the Florida Five Day Academy this year. Wendy Greer has compiled and edited different works of  Nouwen to show how to live a prayerful life and called it “The Only Necessary Thing.”

He says “Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and place for God and God alone. If we really believe that God  not only exists but also is actively present in our lives – healing, teaching, and guiding – we need to set aside a time and space to give God our undivided attention.

To live a Christian life means to live in the world without being of it. It is in solitude that this inner freedom can grow. A life without a lonely place, that is, a life without a quiet center, easily becomes destructive.  In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared.”

If you think the above is an easy thing to begin to live, think again. I find it hard to find the time and still harder a quiet place. Early in the morning and late at night seem to be best but even then alarm clocks, telephones, schedules, and other distractions creep in. If you look  at the culture around you there is an almost destructive need for noise all the time. If there is not noise then there are other substances that can keep you from being alone. Why are we so afraid to be alone?

I’m trying to find that time for solitude in the morning before I get up.  I lie quietly and talk/listen to God.  I’m making “me” available to God.

From  me, Martha:

Nouwen has one of the best descriptions of the meaning and necessity of solitude I’ve read.  And Shields has just used one of the best practical descriptions:  “making ‘me’ available to God.”

Actually one of our life-long goals is to be “at one” with Christ and as we grow toward that we are more and more able to make ourselves available to God — not only in the times of silence, but in the midst of our everyday tasks.

However, we all seek to find a specific time of solitude/”time with God”/devotional time..whatever we call it.

Finding the time for “solitude” was easy for me during those years between marriages — I was in charge of my own time and could choose my own early morning or evening times even in the midst of a horrendous work schedule.  Now that I have a Life Partner, we have really been challenged to find “our” time. 

 I have a special place I call my “altar” and sometimes I get up early and go there before Shields gets up.  Sometimes I wait until after he goes to his part-time job and go it or sit and read in another special place.

The important thing for couples, we think, is to respect the need that each partner has for solitude, and talk together about how to make that happen.  Amazing what “solutions” come up when God and partners work together!

Our Spiritual Journey

When we married in August, 1999, we were determined that our spiritual journey TOGETHER would be a priority.  Shields had been married for 32 years to Kay, a wonderful woman who was, for a period, on the TTUMC staff.  She died from cancer.  Martha had come to TTUMC, in 1997 to be coordinator of lay ministries.  She was first married to an ordained Methodist clergyman whose need to claim his homosexual identity necessitated their divorce.  After we married, Shields claimed he was drawn to Northern women who served on church staffs!

Shields had two adult children; Martha had no birth children, so she “adopted” Sarah and Eric with pleasure and has been a part of both their weddings.

Our spiritual journey’s have been different — and we feel it is important for couples to know “it is okay” that each comes to their faith in God at different times and in different ways — and each pursues their journey in different, unique ways.  The most important thing, we believe, is to BE on an INTENTIONAL spiritual journey!

 So — we will share a brief commentary on our individual journeys and  in later blogs share things that have been meaningful to us in our growth as disciples of Jesus.

Shields says: I had a “drug” problem – I was drug to church, drug to committees.  I was a “loyal church member,” counseling the youth, chairing numerous committees (now Teams!), attending church every Sunday, singing in the choir:  all the things, I always say, that a “good church member” does.

AND THEN:  My wife, Kay, died from breast cancer complications. I was really mad at God for allowing such a good person to die. I withdrew from life and hibernated. I realized some time later that my children could lose another parent, if I didn’t get things together. I went back to sing in the choir, got involved in churh activities, fell in love with Martha, and got married. I went on the Walk to Emmaus in 2001 and I GOT IT — I realized that it was not that I am such a smart fellow, but that God was continuingto love me and draw me back to him. It really opened my eyes and I continue my journey. 

Martha:  I’ve been a seeker all my life.  I knew from early years that God and Jesus were central to my life and that the only way I was going to know God’s will for my life was to read the Bible/pray/discuss/learn/live.  I knew very early that I needed to get in tune with my “God Center” (which I finally learned was the Holy Spirit). So my life has been filled with reading, and workshops and teaching and serving, focusing on my passion to live life as God wanted me to even as I passed through “troubled waters” several times! 

So….you see, we have lots to talk about!  Any questions? We’ll share more of our insights, learnings and challenges as we grow as “partners on a journey.” 

Hope you join us for Maundy Thursday service, some part of the Good Friday experiences, the Men’s Prayer Breakfast on Saturday and Easter Services on Sunday (see TTUMC.net website for details)!